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UPDATES on the bug boy

I'm almost half way done with my MA in el. ed at Lewis and Clark and it is WICKED hard but I'm shouldering through. It's a one year intensive program. I'm reading 200 pages a week and riding my bike and working out. I hired a personal trainer with some of my student loan money because I know for a fact that if I got a gym membership 1. I would have a hard time motivating to go on my own and 2. I hate working out in front of men...they are always staring at my titties and seeing how much weight I'm lifting and I am kind of self conscious about my strength level...so I hired a personal trainer at a women's gym that happens to allow co-ed personal training in a separate room apart from the main gym. This means that I basically have an entire gym to myself! I am working on building my back muscles so I can begin the process of un-hunching my back by practicing good posture. I am also building my triceps and shoulders so that my body looks more like it did when I worked construction. I am also running...which is helping me stay quit from smoking, which I started a little bit since starting grad school. I don't want to be a smoker again, I worked SO HARD to quit. Training is definitely helping me.

I realized why I was having health problems and pretty bad add/adhd was that I have a wheat allergy. Since going almost entirely gluten free since april 2010 I am feeling 1000 times better!!! I have had almst no sickness aside from the BAD flu that everyone had in Sept. It's hard but good, and I found the best gluten-free sandwich bread evar!

I moved out of Jose's house in November 2009. I was happy there, but wanted to live with my friends Barb and Hill, a cute butch/femme couple who I was close with. When I moved in I signed a 6-month lease like an idiot. Of corse, come to find out the femme is completely mentally unstable, trans-phobic and sex-negative...all these things that I NEVER saw after being friends with her for over a YEAR! She was man-hating and weirdly mean to me in this way I have never experienced...major passive aggression and ultra-controling-ness about everything in the house. As an example, we had a built in bookcase that took up an entire wall of the living room. There were 20 shelves on it. She allowed me to have exactly two to put by books on. Two. Her girlfriend was affraid of her mood swings and abuse anger explosions and was so meyered in emotional abuse with this woman that she couldn't even see how she was treating me or her. So I left and moved in to Terry Treat's house! It's the BEST house evar! Terry is a hippy mama femme in her 40's who lives with her hto butch girlfriend, also in her 40s, and we cook and dance and hang with the dogs and read and do homework and it's been 6 months of total chillness. They are so body-positive and sex and kink friendly and the house is HUGE and I live in the biggest room I have EVER lived in EVER. I will be here for a very very very long time I think. A very long time.

I have pretty much been single since Dec 2008. Me and The Boss (the rancher)...well...we hang out when he's in town, and I occasionally go out to the ranch, but now that I have a life and grad school and work I don't have much time for play. Was serving a butch, we'll call her V, for a very short while, but the fit just didn't feel right. I have tried with The Boss and her to do more casual play...but I have realized that in order to go into a place of taking deep pain or performing deep service, I must trust the person I'm playing with on an intimate level and they must be someone worthy of that trust...someone with honesty, integrity, someone who is a good communicator. It has been hard for me to trust in the past two years, so I have not really been looking in any real way. I have just been doing what I need to do to advance my courier and my mental and physical health. I guess that's what a truly good boy needs to do, whether he has a dominant in his life or not. Maybe I'll find that person who is worthy of my service, someone who find me worthy to serve them, but it is not something I am seeking out at this time in my life.
Every boy who has reconciled his submissive nature with the societal pressures of masculine independence deserves to be proud of himself.

It takes more balls to abdicate those conventions and submit to the right guy than it does to homogenize and gentrify your sexual and emotional needs.

That pride can and must be fostered by a Dom, Big Brother, or Sir with a firm hand, a sharp mind, and a good heart.

In response to too many phone calls I've received recently from boys in distress, I've drafted the following bill of boys' rights. If you're in support of securing and fostering a boy's development and pride in his submission, make yourself heard.

The boys' Bill of Rights:

1. Every boy has the right to have his body, intellect, and emotions protected by his Dom.

2. Every boy has the right to choose the man whom he serves and to discontinue that service and take his leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.

3. Every boy has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in his submission.

4. Every boy has the right to protected sex if he so wishes.

5. Every boy has the right to privacy if he so wishes. No boy can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without his expressed desire to be so.

6. Every boy has the right to defend himself from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.

7. Every boy has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.

8. Every boy has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other subs and Doms without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.

9. Every boy has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.

10. Every boy has the right to protect his own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.

SIRS: Refer to this profile or copy and paste this Bill of Rights into your own if you wish to let subs know how you feel about their rights.

subs, boys, and pups: Refer to this profile or include the Bill in your own and take a stand against boys and abuse.

-LaboursLost

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garden

took my normal T shot yesterday and already feel worlds better. I have all these male squash blossoms on my squash plants and my friend Aster reminded me the other day that they are edible, and so today for lunch I experimented with making batter fried squash blossoms and ones just dredged in seasoned flower and then fried. I also picked some tomatoes suffering from blossom end rot and used the same batter and then some corn meal on them and fried them too. Both ways to cook the squash blossoms were wonderful. The ones just dredged in seasoned flower (flower mixed with onion powder, cyanne, salt, pepper and ground chilies) were slightly crunchy, impossibly light and then creamy in texture. Magnifique. They would be really good on top of a salad or on the side of a decadent pasta in cream sauce. The ones I battered (same seasoned flower mixed with a splorch of half-n-half) I let fry until they were a medium brown. They were absolutely heaven and I dunked them in a bit of ranch and I was transported into multiple mouth-gasms! The fried green tomatoes were ok...I'm not sure I liked the corn meal as a coating. I'm going to try bread crumbs tomorrow. Next on the docket...home made pizzas with goat cheese, squash blossoms, caramelized onion and prosciuto. Picked the first zucini from the garden tonight and ate a few slices of it. I'm thinking I'm going to shave it into thin slices and toss it in some rice wine vinegar, toasted sesame oil and black sesame seeds and rock salt and see how that tastes. I try to eat most of the ingredients from my garden raw to get the max nutrient impact from them.

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more on life in the garden

I harvested my first lemon cucumber tonight and ate it with the first Early Girl tom from my amazing Early Girl that is so weighted down with fruit that it ripped the cage right out of the ground and toppled over!!! Luckily none of the vines were uprooted or even snapped! Plants are amazing. The Early Girl, which I heard was kinda bland in flavor, is actually pretty savory and buttery...and a hell of a lot more flavorful than any watery, stiff tomato you can buy in the super market. Gardening has changed my life. It makes me feel powerful, responsible, and it channels my energy away from bad habits.

I am excited about the lemon cux for a bunch of reasons. 1. They are incredibly prolific and I can prolly trade some of the crop to other folks who grow things I don't have in my garden (like potatoes...on the docket for next year for sure!) 2. They're really crunchy! I think that regular cux can sometimes get a little soggy pretty quick after picking...but not these guys! 3. They seem to be a hearty, fast-growing plant...and obviously they are early harvesters. Some folks don't like them because they have a lot of seeds, but they aren't like store bought green cuc seeds that are all slimy and spaced out...to me they just add another layer of texture to the crunchy rind. And I heart the lemony flavor!!!

I am beginning to think that the winter squashes that I have in the back bed are not butternuts. I got them as starts from Fred Meyer and the tag said "winter squash" but it had a pic of butternuts on the label...so I just assumed...but even at this early point in the season, my first two squashes are fucking MASSIVE and showing no signs of ripening yet--in other words, my squashes are already 2X the size of any butternut I've ever seen and showing no signs of being done growing. I've google image searched for winter squashes to try and see what kind they might be but I can't seem to find it!

Not sure what the big deal is about scarlet runner beans. What do you do with them. Do you harvest the whole pod like green beans or do you just eat the beans like ripe favas?

Notes for next year: plant lots of radishes and summer spinach. Plant potatoes and sweet corn and sugar snap peas. Maybe some banana peppers. Maybe get some blueberry bushes! DONT plant red cabbage (it takes FOREVER to ball...if it balls).

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What Kind of Boots Are You?

You Are Cowboy Boots
You are incredibly down to earth and happy with yourself. You don't pretend to be someone else.
You also tend to be very practical. You don't really have a lot of room for fluff in your life.

You are a very honest and direct person. You will give anyone a straight answer, even if it's a bit uncomfortable.
While you're quite sensible, you always like a little bit of flash in your life. You don't overdo it, but you do like turning heads.


my identity in a nutchell

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Sarah Palin's Banned Books (shocking!)

When a politician tries to ban artistic expressions and free thought
one has to wonder what kind of (potential) president that politician
will be and what kind of supreme court judges that politician will
select. We didn't like the book banning when Hitler or the Taliban did
it. Why is is suddenly so sexy if Sarah Palin does it???? Is anybody
awake? Are we all asleep??????

Sarah Palins List of Banned Books

For those of you who think that all of the opposition to Sarah Palin
is from "leftwing" nuts; the following is a list of books that she
tried to get banned when she was mayor of Wasilla. I am not sure that Mark
Twain, William Shakespeare, Maya Angelou and Geoffrey Chaucer would be
considered dangerous to children. Judy Blume give me a break. Harry
Potter, who is kidding who. I also fail to see how Webster's Ninth New
Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff should be
banned.

This information is taken from the official minutes of the Wasilla
Library Board. When the librarian refused Palin tried to get her fired
as she did with the Safety Director of the State who refused to fire a
trooper who was getting a vicious divorce from her sister

This is the list of books Palin tried to have banned. As many of you
will notice it is a hit parade for book burners.

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

Blubber by Judy Blume

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

Canterbury Tales by Chaucer

Carrie by Stephen King

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

Christine by Stephen King

Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Cujo by Stephen King

Curses, Hexes, and Spells by Daniel Cohen

Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite

Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck

Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller

Decameron by Boccaccio

East of Eden by John Steinbeck

Fallen Angels by Walter Myers

Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure) by John Cleland

Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes

Forever by Judy Blume

Grendel by John Champlin Gardner

Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling

Have to Go by Robert Munsch

Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman

How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

Impressions edited by Jack Booth

In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak

It's Okay if You Don't Love Me by Norma Klein

James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl

Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence

Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman

Little Red Riding Hood by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Love is One of the Choices by Norma Klein

Lysistrata by Aristophane

More Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz

My Brother Sam Is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

My House by Nikki Giovanni

My Friend Flicka by Mary O'Hara

Night Chills by Dean Koontz

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer

One Day in The Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Ordinary People by Judith Guest

Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women's Health Collective

Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy

Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl

Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones by Alvin Schwartz

Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz

Separate Peace by John Knowles

Silas Marner by George Eliot

Slaughterhouse- Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

The Bastard by John Jakes

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

The Devil's Alternative by Frederick Forsyth

The Figure in the Shadows by John Bellairs

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Snyder

The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks

The Living Bible by William C. Bower

The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare

The New Teenage Body Book by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman

The Pigman by Paul Zindel

The Seduction of Peter S. by Lawrence Sanders

The Shining by Stephen King

The Witches by Roald Dahl

The Witches of Worm by Zilpha Snyder

Then Again, Maybe I Won't by Judy Blume

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare

Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster

Editorial Staff

Witches, Pumpkins, and Grinning Ghosts: The Story of the Halloween

Symbols by Edna Barth

Tony Fransetta

Florida Alliance for Retired Americans

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Portland Trans Homo's! Tomorrow Night!

Oh yes, it is that time again...
Come to THE hang-out night for transguy homos (tro-mos), this Friday July 11th. 8 to 9:pm at 3 Friends Coffee House (201 SE 12th and Ash)
9 to late at Chesterfield (across the street at 1101 E Burnside)

All guys welcome, bring your pals, spread the word.

Dear America

Ding Dong the Dick is Dead!
The Shit Head Dick
The Dick HEAD DICK!
Wing DONG THE WICKED DICK IS DEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAD!

Love Sean

ps I am an AMAZING SONG WRITER! ;P
ps I also wanted to post an amazing song written by my good friend who is visiting from the East Coast. I will not be able to make it to camp for the first time in 4 years, so I am feeling very sad and nostalgic.

Scruffy the Gender-Free Caterpillar
by
Gauge Twelve Freyasdottir
as inspired and started by
the attendees of the Butch Identity and Intentional Masculinity in Trans Women Caucus. Many thanks to all the attendees for the inspiration and the start on the song.

Scruffy the Gender-Free Caterpillar lives at Camp Trans
and ze never oppresses anyone on the Land.
Ze's a perfect mix of butch and femme,
the perfect blend of masculine and feminine!

Oh Scruffy, an inspiration to one and all!
Scruffy, having no gender at all!
Scruffy, Second Wave hero!
Scruffy, gender expression is zero!

When ze has sex there is no gaze,
No objectification and no penetration!
Mutual and methodical, there's no danger
of anyone getting aroused!

Oh Scruffy, an inspiration to one and all!
Scruffy, having no gender at all!
Scruffy, Second Wave hero!
Scruffy, gender expression is zero!
Scruffy, not into S and M!
Scruffy, an expression of zen!
Scruffy, when will you learn
That all being like you
is not something
we can or should do!